Pretty Pictures Blissify

My long-time friend, Robert, took this delightful shot of Dogwood blossoms this week. He sent it to me to cheer me up after I shared how un-happifying the news around us was this morning. (Thanks, Robert!!)

I try to choose the information that I invite into my day. As a rule, I stick with sources of happy information. I want to be thoughtful about how much time and energy I devote to negative, draining news stories--and how much time I spend talking, thinking, and tweeting about them.

Being informed doesn't have to mean being inundated with all things ugly and mean and scary.

Quite frankly, I would much rather spend my precious moments on positive pursuits. I don't always manage to be in that sweet, happy space--but as I practice being happy, it becomes more natural.

If I believe life is sweet, it truly tends to be just that.

Irides Make Me Happy

I love irides--or irises, as some would call them--more than any other flower. We have them all over our yard and they are just starting to send up their 3-foot stalks laden with blooms. As soon as they open, I'll trade out this stock shot for one of our prized blue and purple bearded beauties.

Author Katherine Swift must love irides, too. More Magazine included a quote from her book The Morville Hours on page 30 of their May 2009 edition that sings the praises of my favorite flower more eloquently than anything I've read on the subject. She writes:

Don't blink. Beneath the wall the bearded irises are in bloom, the tall upper-most petals so gauzy, so delicate, that each bloom, once opened, lasts hardly longer than a day. Look, you can almost see through them. As fleeting as a rainbow, and with the same rain-washed colours. They were named after Iris, the messenger of the gods, who as a rainbow linked heaven and earth. It's the same derivation as the iris of the human eye, the coloured membrane which separates the inner from the outer chamber. Both have the same mysterious, shifting, shimmering quality, the colours depending on the viewpoint of the observer, one colour flecked by, veined with, shot through with another.

Wonderfully said.

Happy Quote

“Thousands of candles can be lit from a single candle, and the life of the candle will not be shortened. Happiness never decreases by being shared.”

Buddha

Happy Painter

We are uniquely blessed to live on nearly 7 pastoral acres bordering a large nature preserve. Today the luck of location and weather and inspiration hit our son in his creative bone. He set up his easel and painted one of our Bradford Pears.



What a lovely way to spend a Saturday morning. I'm delighted that he is already of the mindset that it is "worth it" to get out the materials to express his bliss. That makes me happy. I hope he never forgets that he's a wonderfully talented painter!

Time to Think

Our calendars are so full of responsibilities and promises and appointments and commitments to other people that we sometimes we have been squeezed out of our own lives.

It is vitally important that we schedule appointments with ourselves--to set aside time to do those things that fill and nurture us.

One of the incredibly important--but often neglected activities--on my calendar is time to think. I am a creative person. I make my living helping others formulate, organize, and implement ideas. How on earth would I ever make good on my promise to help others be creative and forward thinking if I don't take time to practice?

No one is going to send me an invitation to a block of time to think. It isn't going to be on the agenda of the next meeting I attend. So, I have to set that time aside myself. And I do.


I regularly schedule appointments with myself. They are on my calendar just like client meetings and doctor appointments. I book an hour on Monday morning to get my head back into the game after the weekend spent with my family. I book office straightening time for the last 10 minutes of every working day. I book reading time to get through the piles of books and manuals and journals I want to absorb. And I book time to think.

My time to think is sacred. I try to find a peaceful spot where I won't be tempted to straighten or organize or respond to an email or answer the phone. I take a pen and paper--but nothing to read. Sometimes I have a specific topic in mind. Sometimes I just sit and listen to the birds chirp and watch the deer wander until inspiration strikes.

Giving myself permission to just be still has been a wonderful gift. Some of my most productive moments occur when it looks like I am doing nothing at all.

Happy Quote

It's never too late to have a happy childhood.

~Berke Breathed

Happy Earth Day!

My daughter, Gilly, has been counting down to Earth Day for weeks. My son, Berns, asked for recycling bins for his Easter present. What is it about this generation that makes being eco-friendly so--well--natural? Whatever it is, it's delightful!

"Celebrate Earth Day every day. It's good to recycle. Earth is a really pretty planet and we want to keep it that way."

~Gilly

There is one thing that we truly share and that is the planet we all call home. What a wonderful world it is!

*photo credit: NASA. I'd like an opportunity to see this view for myself someday!

Happy Quote

Happiness is not a state to arrive at, but a manner of traveling.

~Margaret Lee Runbeck

Happy Diapers?

Diapers.

I know, I know. This is supposed to be a happy blog, and nobody is ever really happy about diapers.

This is different.

My daughter, Caitlin has not used a diaper in a week now. I’m proud of her being potty trained before her third birthday. Even better though, is the fact that I no longer have to change diapers.

It may sound a little selfish, but my oldest child is turning eleven this year, and I have been changing diapers for the better part of those eleven years. I have five children. Brennan is ten, Daniel is eight, Cameron is seven, Madison is five, and Caitlin is two.

There are twinges of disappointment over the fact that I no longer have any little babies, and they do grow much faster than we ever want them to. But at the same time, I only have 16 years to go until it’s just me and my wife. Those years are going to go by way too quickly, and it will be difficult to say the least to spend 10 plus years watching my babies move out.

There is more unconditional love in my house every day than some people will have all their lives.

This is why I bust my butt at school every day. I owe them. For what they freely give me, I owe them. For what they teach me about myself and my life, I owe them.

Though there are moments when I can’t wait for my wife and I to have our own time I know that it, in some ways is not far enough away, and that I may never truly be ready for it.

So for now I will simply be happy with no more diapers.

Happy Little Trees

Even on a rainy day like yesterday, my dogwoods made my heart sing!

Living the Dream

I always hated that reply to "How you doin'?" Of course, I've been known to say it when I was working yet another dead end job. I think it makes us feel somewhat better about our present "station" in life. That being said, I don't have a job right now.

I hadn't had a computer for the last ten years. No-can-afford when you have all these mouths under one roof. So When I started IT school it was a helluva shock. Too many new things. People don't realize just how much the Internet has exploded. So, I gotta' catch up.

I sit in front of my computer for almost 14 hours a day now. Learning, exploring, flat out soaking in it. I study constantly. My wife is starting to hate my new "girlfriend." You'd like her. Her name is Dell.

So, in the last two days, I have added five new toolbars to FireFox, started a Blog, completed four chapters in my Beginning Linux class, listed to too many hours of Pandora.com, and looked at countless web pages. Not to mention, I'm a delicious blogger who likes to tweet his diggs, diggs his diigos, and still just doesn't see the fascination with facebook.

My wife and I know that all this will pay off in the end. So, bless her heart, she quietly deals with my sitting in front of the computer for long hours, when I know she'd like some of my time. God, I love her. She works extra hours so we can succeed together. She's a rare find these days.
This time, I guess, we really are living the dream.

Happy Quote

Let us be grateful to people who make us happy, they are the charming gardeners who make our souls blossom.

~Marcel Proust

How does a sunset make you feel?

A beautiful sunset like this evokes all sorts of emotions and memories for me.

It reminds me of a warm beach in the gulf--walking along the coast of St. Petersburg, FL, at the end of blistering hot day and enjoying the gulf waters gently lapping at the shore.

It inspires my artistic side and gets me thinking about getting this scene on a canvas--blissfully mixing my paint to perfectly match nature's colors and then playing with different brush strokes and textures to create a masterpiece.

Mostly, though, a sunset like this is a reminder of a day well spent that ends with the peace and calm which come from knowing I lived my best day--that I was productive and that I lived, laughed, and loved hard.

Peace and calm = a little bit o' bliss.

Happy Quote

What a wonderful life I've had! I only wish I'd realized it sooner. ~Colette

Happy Guys

The guy in the red sweater is Ned Andrew. He is from New York. He's never been around farm animals.

The guy with the big smile is Ernie. He is from Texas. He's never been around New Yorkers.

They met at Thanksgiving and are now the best of friends.

The End.

(Don't you love a happy ending?)

Blissful Blue Skies

We have had more than our fair share of gray skies and storms over the past few weeks. So, when the sun came out this afternoon, this dogwood absolutely glowed.

Flowering trees amaze me. What? Leaves that change from chartreuse and deep green into bright reds and oranges and yellows aren't enough? Mother Nature thought, "Yes. I'll put flowers on them for a couple of weeks in the spring. Just for fun!"

I love that.

Happy Turkey Day?

We had a massive storm in our neck of the woods today, so I got a little giddy when the animals started marching by my kitchen window in pairs.

I got downright hysterical when this turkey started knocking on my back door. Her 3 friends weren't quite as forward as she--but they certainly were eyeing the dry house with interest.

Happy Quote

I'm going to be happy. I'm going to skip. I'm going to be glad. I'm going to smile a lot. I'm going to be easy. I'm going to count my blessings. I'm going to look for reasons to feel good. I'm going to dig up positive things from the past. I'm going to look for positive things where I stand. I'm going to look for positive things in the future. It is my natural state to be a happy person. It's natural for me to love and to laugh. This is what is most natural for me. I am a happy person!

--Esther Hicks

Baking a Batch of Bliss

They may look like ordinary peanut butter cookies, but these little mounds of delight are loaded with love. There are a couple of little details that add to their bliss-inducing magic. (1) I was estranged from my paternal clan for over two decades and shortly after I arrived at Daddy's for the first time in 21 years, my baby sister, Angie, showed up with the makings for these cookies. (2) Two of my kids are allergic to dairy and gluten and we struggle to find foods that they like to eat that don't cost a billion dollars* and these cookies fit the bill.

We make a batch of these wonderful cookies once a week. We eat about half of them while they are still warm and package the other half up for lunch boxes and after-school snacks.

Warm cookies? Wonderful.

Warm cookies baked with love? Bliss!



*May be a slight exaggeration.

The Next Best Thing

For as long as most of my closest friends have known me, I’ve had this favorite saying: “The next best thing to making plans, is plans falling through!” It’s not just a rote statement – it’s absolutely true!

Even if I’m very much looking forward to a morning, afternoon or evening plan that was set well in advance – say dinner with friends, or a movie or music outing – I’m typically not so “wed” to the event that my life feels “cheated” or “diminished” by its withdrawal.

When the plans fall through, it means it’s a morning or afternoon or evening with – here it comes – no plans! So basically, I am free to create my own entertainment, strike out on my own adventure, or do nothing more than curl up on the sofa with a book and some sweet ambient music for company.

So plans are happy-inducing, but so are plans undone.

Happy Couple

Then we sat on the edge of the earth, with our feet dangled over the side, and marveled that we had found each other. --Erik Dillard

I have wonderful, supportive friends and a large, caring family, but I have to admit that there is one relationship in my world that combines both. I am massively blessed to be married to my very best friend and am grateful every single day that Ned Andrew is in my life.

It wasn't always this way--we managed to bumble along on separate paths for decades. The waiting and wanting only makes our time together even sweeter.

There is a Happily Ever After!

Happy Flowers

I popped into the Brentwood Library to pick up a copy of Stumbling on Happiness and came across these delightful flowers. I am a sucker for spring bulbs of any kind--but I have to admit to being especially enamored of these bright orange tulips!

Enjoy!

Happy Quote

Often people attempt to live their lives backwards; they try to have more things, or more money, in order to do more of what they want, so they will be happier. The way it actually works is the reverse. You must first be who you really are, then do what you need to do, in order to have what you want.

~Margaret Young

Candlelit Dinners are Bliss-Inducing

Ned and I love to eat really good food. We also have the happy coincidence of loving to prepare really good food. We are going to cook dinner most nights anyway, so we figure we may as well spend the time and make something that we will really enjoy.

Our Monday Night Feast this week was Ned and Gina's Shrimp 'n' Grits served with Garlic Steamed Artichoke with Herbed Brie. I have to admit that this meal was beyond scrumptious and worth way more than the hour we spent laughing and singing in the kitchen.

Oh, did I mention that we enjoy making dinner?

Yes. Even the every day stuff can be wonderful fun!

Bon Appetit!

Happy Quote

Being happy is the cornerstone of all that you are! Nothing is more important than that you feel good! And you have absolute and utter control about that because you can choose the thought that makes you worry or the thought that makes you happy; the things that thrill you, or the things that worry you. You have the choice in every moment.

--Esther Hicks

Happy Math Class

Ned gave a presentation at the Memphis University School today in this classroom.

There were 60 hand-made dodecahedron models hanging from the ceiling and these colorful posters of tessellations on the back wall and all sorts of wonderful inspirational sayings around the room.

I've never met this teacher, but I would love to take their class!

Happy Connections

Where better to seek out happiness than in making spontaneous connections with other human beings? It’s a favorite pastime of mine. Going up or down in the elevator. Waiting on line at the post office or grocery store. Sure, you could just stand there and feel awkward, or bemoan the fact that the line isn’t moving any faster, or that there’s only one postal clerk window or check-out lane open at lunchtime…or…you could pass the time agreeably with the person in front of or behind you. Go on, make their day too!

For a more extended connection, Gina and I love to establish a friendly relationship with our waiter or waitress at a favorite or new eating place. Gina always asks the server what his or her name is – unless it’s offered first, which seems to be getting rarer these days! We don’t eat out very often, so when we do, we like it to be extra special and fun. So, to up the entertainment value, we try to bring our server in on the festivities.

Sometimes it works. Sometimes it doesn’t. When it doesn’t, we just laugh amongst ourselves, and hope that one day that person discovers his or her own blissification.

Happy Trails

This makes me laugh out loud!

Only on a back road in the middle-of-nowhere-Texas would they post a sign telling you to slow down to 65 miles per hour for a sharp curve on a two-lane no-shoulder road!

Oh, and I am from Texas--so this is posted with nothing but love for my home state and all of her (fast) drivers.

Happy Flowers

Our baby girl loves to paint and created this blissful scene of blooming spring flowers on one of the grayest days in February.

It makes me want to sing!

I'll happily pass along any comments to the artist.

Put on a Happy Face

How many of you remember Dick Van Dyke singing and dancing to Put on a Happy Face in the original film version of Bye Bye Birdie? I do. In an effort to cheer up a friend who’s “down in the dumps”, he encourages her to “spread sunshine all over the place, just put on a happy face!”

When I’m in a great mood, I guess I can’t help but smile. When I’m walking through my day, passing total strangers on the street on the walk from my car to the office, or from my office to the car, or from my office to the Arcade in downtown Nashville to mail a letter or pick up a quarter pound of nuts or a batch of sushi, I suppose I toss that smile at everyone I pass, because nine times out of ten, I get a big, sweet smile in return.

Either I influenced that, or there are a whole lot more happy folks walking around than I thought!

Try it yourself. Let me know how it goes.

Happiness Journals Make People Happy

Keeping a journal of the moments, people, and "things" that inspire gratitude in our lives isn't a new concept--Oprah has been talking about it for decades--but the idea that there is some actual scientific proof that paying attention to what makes us happy can actually make us happier is pretty sweet stuff.

The big names* in Happiness Science--also known as Positive Psychology--tell us that keeping tabs of what makes us happy in a purposeful, organized format can actually make us happier. The studies show that in addition to being happier folks who practice gratitude sleep better, deal with change more effectively, and--over time--are healthier and have closer relationships with other people. Drs. Seligman, Lyubomirksy, Csikszentmihalyi and their colleagues have done the hard work of studying, quantifying, and reporting^ the science. It is up us to actually implement it.

The good news is that there are pretty straight-forward ways to practice gratitude. In the studies, folks were asked to log onto a website several times a day and type a sentence or two about something that made them happy or grateful. These could be little things or huge things. It turns out that it really wasn't the "stuff" that made people happy, it was noticing that they were happy that made them happy! And the more they noticed--yep--the happier they felt.

Just in case you don't have time to read the research and the books that outline the why's and how's, lemme just cut to the chase.

We keep track of our money--see: checkbook--our time--see: calendar--our wants--see: wish lists--and our promises--see: to do lists. A Happiness Journal is where we keep track of our happiness.

Folks vary on the number of entries--daily? several times a day?--the location and format--online? paper calendar? pretty blank book?--but the goal and end results are similar. Make it a daily habit to notice what makes you happy and write it down.

Stuck on what to notice? I'll share some thought starters in a future post. In the meantime... make it a happy day!


*These folks are not just the most notable folks in the field, they also seem to have really long names. Once you learn them, it is an act of gratitude to be able to name drop the likes of Drs. Sonja Lyubomirsky and Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi and Martin Seligman. Go ahead! Try it! It's fun!

^ The How of Happiness: A Scientific Approach to Getting the Life You Want by Dr.Sonja Lyubomirsky

Flow: The Psychology of Optimal Experience by Dr. Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi

Authentic Happiness: Using the New Positive Psychology to Realize Your Potential for Lasting Fulfillment by Dr. Martin Seligman

Start your day with some laughing!

This baby's laugh is contagious.

Have a happy day!